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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25649752">The same old fears, wish you were here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsticknoodlesx/pseuds/xsticknoodlesx'>xsticknoodlesx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To Err Is Human (DPD Family) [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Connor &amp; Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gavin Reed Not Being an Asshole, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, Separation Anxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 08:21:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,036</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25649752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsticknoodlesx/pseuds/xsticknoodlesx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nines struggles with separation anxiety. Gavin seeks out Connor and Hank. Together they have a talk.</p><p>*Can be read as a stand-alone*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connor &amp; Upgraded Connor | RK900, Hank Anderson &amp; Upgraded Connor | RK900, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>To Err Is Human (DPD Family) [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1336222</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The same old fears, wish you were here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b> Important. Please Read. </b> Alright, alright, alright! Here it is, one of the one-shots that fit in earlier in the series. This is going to be Part 6 of the "To Err" series. I will rearrange the series so it'll appear as part 6. Don't be confused if you've already read up until the last part and think to yourself "How can this be part 6?". The answer is: The author rearranged it!</p><p>Title from "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd. Yes, again.</p><p>Maybe this is a little self-indulgent because I, myself, struggle with separation anxiety even though I'm an adult. And I can say even though it doesn't necessarily get easier because of it but understanding - just plain and simple understanding - really does help. Not being called immature or childish but understood helps. So that is what I gave Nines. Really, he will have to try and get better by practising separation but understanding helps with that.</p><p>But enough of me and the inspiration behind this story and its ending. Enjoy ^^</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gavin had noticed it before – of course, he’d noticed that something was wrong with Nines because he was his boyfriend, after all. This anxiety that Nines’ had when he was away from Connor and Hank, from his home and his primary attachment figures. He had noticed it on a few occasions, namely the time they were away from Detroit for a few days on a case. But it became completely obvious when Nines spent the night at Gavin’s place for the first time.</p><p>“Alright, how about we order something to eat?”</p><p>“Gavin, I can’t eat.”</p><p>Gavin rubbed his neck in slight embarrassment. “I mean we could just sit on the couch and watch a movie while I eat.”</p><p>“I’d like that.”</p><p>“Alright, I’ll order something for me and you get comfortable, yes?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Gavin nodded and did just what he said he’d do. When he eventually got back, he found Nines on the couch, eyes closed, LED spinning yellow. Gavin sat down next to him, confusion on his face.</p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p>Nines’ eyes snapped open and he turned to look at Gavin. “I was just texting Connor. What would you like to watch?”</p><p>“I don’t really care.” Gavin raised an eyebrow at Nines. “Why text Connor? Did something happen or what?”</p><p>“No, nothing happened. I just wanted to check in with him.”</p><p>“You’ve seen him an hour ago.”</p><p>“Still.”</p><p>Gavin raised his eyebrow even higher – or at least he thought so – as he rolled Nines’ words over in his head a few times. Where had he seen this sort of behaviour before? Nines wasn’t necessarily possessive or anything, so Gavin was uncertain as to why he kept checking in on Connor and Hank.</p><p>“Well, let’s watch a movie, okay?”</p><p>Nines nodded and Gavin looked for a movie. Half an hour later, the food came and Gavin ate while Nines leaned into him, watching the movie. Intermittently, Nines’ LED would blink to yellow and stayed that way for a few seconds. It was after the sixth time that Gavin put his empty box of noodles down and looked at his boyfriend, clearly concerned.</p><p>“What is going on with that disco show on your temple?”</p><p>“Funny.” Nines gave a dry laugh. “Hank always says that, too. He always thinks Connor and I are talking behind his back when we talk via this connection.”</p><p>“I get where he gets that.” Gavin said in amusement. “So what’s up with it? Talking to someone? Googling something?”</p><p>“To Connor.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Just to make sure he is alright.” Nines shrugged and leaned back on the couch. “Is that a problem?”</p><p>“You just checked in on him an hour ago. What could have happened in that time?”</p><p>“A lot.” Nines said quietly. “But they’re fine so it’s alright.”</p><p>Gavin nodded slowly, leaning back. He stretched, yawning and situating his arm around Nines’ shoulders. The android turned around with a concerned look.</p><p>“Are you tired?”</p><p>“No, I-”</p><p>“We can turn in for the night if you are.”</p><p>“No, it’s a move people do to put an arm around their date and I- you know, like in movies.” He stammered out before shaking his head. “Just watch the movie, okay?”</p><p>“Okay.” Nines nodded, pressing a kiss to Gavin’s cheek before turning back toward the TV.</p><p>Gavin leaned back again, his hands absentmindedly stroking Nines’ hair as he thought. He knew he had seen similar behaviour before but he wasn’t sure where. If he could only put his finger on it, he’d be able to find out how to lessen his boyfriend’s anxiety. Nines being this concerned about Connor and Hank was not something you’d see every day.</p><p>---</p><p>It was separation anxiety.</p><p>Nines was asleep next to him after having called Connor two times, the second time because he hadn’t been able to get a hold of Hank before. But now he was asleep – or in sleep mode. And Gavin was lying next to him, his hand lazily trailing up and down Nines’ side as it became clear what was happening.</p><p>His goddaughter had been the same, really scared to leave her mother's side, not wanting to part with her when it was time to go to kindergarten for the first time. It was behaviour he had only ever seen in children but then again, he was really no expert on mental health. Slowly as not to startle Nines he reached for his phone on the nightstand, unplugged it and brought it to his face.</p><p>The initial light of it nearly made him drop it in surprise but he caught it in the last second, turned the brightness down and began his search of separation anxiety in adults and how to deal with it.</p><p>Because from his experience with Ashley, he was aware of how to deal with it in children but adults were a different topic and androids were something else altogether. He knew that with a child you’d practice separation and have short goodbye rituals but he was clueless as to what to do for Nines.</p><p>But he would find out.</p><p>---</p><p>Eventually, Gavin settled on talking to Hank and Connor about it, given that they were the people Nines didn’t feel comfortable being away from. So the next time they met at work, he asked Tina to keep Nines busy for a while while he talked to them. He rounded them up at Hank’s desk and explained his discoveries to them</p><p>Hank looked up in surprise. “Separation anxiety? Isn’t that more like something children get?”</p><p>“See? That’s the problem.” Gavin huffed. “That’s the reason adults don’t want to talk about their separation anxiety and get help.”</p><p>“Sorry.” Hank mumbled. “I’ve only ever seen it in Cole when he started going to kindergarten. Can we help Nines?”</p><p>Connor looked ready to cry. “No wonder he had been insistent on calling me whenever we were apart. Why hasn’t he told us?”</p><p>“He probably feels ashamed or as though it is not something we can help with. He always wants to do everything on his own.” Gavin sighed softly. </p><p>“How can we help?” Connor asked softly. </p><p>“Well, I’ve seen it before in Ashley, my goddaughter. For her, it was because her mother got back to working soon after she was born and left Ashley with her grandparents or aunt a lot. They took care of her but she was in the care of so many different people at such a young age that she didn’t have a primary attachment figure which makes separation difficult.”</p><p>“Did you google all of that?”</p><p>“Yes, Hank, I did but it’s true. You see when Connor deviated he had you there with him throughout the whole process and he had you to attach himself to emotionally. But Nines came to us after he had already deviated. We have no clue how long he had been feeling emotions for before he met us. And even after he met us he was pretty unsure about who to emotionally attach himself to. I mean until a few months ago he was scared to even call Hank his father.”</p><p>Hank sighed miserably, letting his head drop into his hands. “I’m a terrible father, aren’t I?”</p><p>Connor looked at the man in shock. “You’re definitely not. You are-”</p><p>“What?” Gavin looked on in confusion. “How did you come to that conclusion. Just because you make mistakes doesn’t mean you’re a bad father. Ashley's mother went to work to have more money for her family but wasn’t home for her daughter a lot. That was her mistake. But they worked through it and Ashley happily sleeps over at friends or relatives’ houses now without any struggle.”</p><p>“Well, what can we do?”</p><p>Gavin thought for a few seconds. “Well, it’s different for everyone. Maybe we should try to talk about it. I mean talking about what he’s scared of might help.”</p><p>“It’s worth a try, right?” Connor looked back at Hank wh nodded.</p><p>“Definitely. As long as we can help him.”</p><p>“Help whom?”</p><p>They all turned to look at Nines who was standing next to them, smiling softly and looking on in interest. Gavin and Connor looked at each other in shock, trying to come up with an excuse.</p><p>“Nines, can we talk to you?” Connor inquired softly.</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“How was your night at Gavin’s?” Hank asked. “Were you alright? Because you called Connor a couple of times and you insisted to talk to me, too. So I was wondering whether or not there was something wrong.”</p><p>Nines was quiet for a few seconds before sighing. “This is about me calling? Am I being annoying? Was I rude for calling when I was planning to spend time with Gavin?”</p><p>“No, I’m not mad at all, sweetheart.” Gavin promised, lowering his voice at the pet name so no one would hear how sweet he was which earned him an annoyed look from Hank. “And neither is Connor nor Hank.”</p><p>“We’re just worried.” Hank admitted. “Is it hard for you to stay away from us?”</p><p>“Yes.” Nines admitted quietly. “I know it shouldn’t be and this type of behaviour is normally reserved for children but I feel so lost wihtout you two. And I am so terribly worried that something bad might happen to you while I’m not there to help.”</p><p>Connor nodded, reaching out to put a hand on top of Nines’. “There it is.” He whispered. “That is just what we needed to understand what is wrong.”</p><p>“What do you think is wrong with me?”</p><p>“Separation anxiety.” Gavin proclaimed. “And it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, Nines. A lot of adults suffer from it. It’s especially likely with people who are already suffering from anxiety disorders or OCD.”</p><p>“But I don’t have an anxiety disorder.”</p><p>“But you are really anxious about a lot of things.” Gavin said in a very caring voice. “And we totally get it but we need to find ways to help you.”</p><p>“How about you try to limit your calls when you’re with Gavin?” Connor suggested. “I promise you that I will always be available in case you need me but you should try not to call too often.”</p><p>“But it calms me down.”</p><p>“How about you call me before bed? And I just talk to you for a few minutes, calm you down and help you relax?” Connor smiled softly. “You could also try spending time with Gavin during the day for a start.”</p><p>“Alright.” Nines nodded. “We could try that. But perhaps sleeping over at Gavin’s again might help. As long as you promise to stay in contact.”</p><p>“And most importantly: try to distract yourself.” Hank said in earnest. “See, when Cole was young and got into kindergarten he was so scared of me leaving but as soon as he was playing with everyone else, he was fine. I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye because he was so emersed in playing.”</p><p>“That’s good for him.” Nienssaid with a soft smile. “I suppose I should try.”</p><p>“And if it doesn’t work we’ll find another solution. If you still feel anxious, tell us, okay? No one will be angry.” Connor promised and Nines nodded. “But I think for a start you should try to stay with Gavin and reduce your calls to us. Just know that should anything happen, we are just a phone call away and could get to you in less than twenty minutes.”</p><p>“Thank you, brother.”</p><p>“I just want you to be alright. I don’t want to think of you being away and feeling bad. I promise you that Hank and I will be alright, even when you leave. You can call me whenever you want to check in on us but try to keep it limited.”</p><p>Nines nodded slowly. “I will try my best.”</p><p>Gavin looked up. "We would really love to come up with some sort of brilliant solution to help you, sweetheart. But as far as I know, the only thing you can really do is having exposure and making experiences that show you that your family will be fine with you away."</p><p>“Do you think you’ll be alright?” Hank asked, looking at the android in worry.</p><p>“Yes, I will be fine.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, the ending isn't them finding a big solution to the problem. But as I said, just being understood and knowing why you feel the way you do really helps. And knowing that your feelings are valid and not immature helps, too. The only thing you can really do (as far as I know so enlighten me if I'm wrong) is having exposure and making experiences that show you that your family will be fine with you away.</p><p>That being said, I hope you enjoyed this shorter instalment. The next part will be a several chapter shot about camping. So look forward to that. It'll be more lighthearted (I hope). Wow, I ramble a lot today. Leave a Comment or Kudos if you want. The usual. See you ^^</p></blockquote></div></div>
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